I think my baby wants me to be teetotal.  Obviously, I didn’t drink when I was pregnant! Except for when I didn’t realise I was pregnant.  I worked out that from conception to probably four weeks of him being a little bean, I just craved cold white wine and, yes I realise that sounds so middle class and a first world problem!  I’m a red wine girl myself…

But I digress… After ten months of pregnancy – B was born two days shy of forty-two weeks.  Count on top of that, four months of being a little human consuming only breast milk and you can imagine, mummy wants a little drink herself. I’m no alcoholic, but I am British and I do love a good drink – not a piss yourself, fall into your own bin full of sick and steal a bread trolley drunk.  Note – I’m guilty of two of these … But, now I’m in my 30’s – not quite mid, I’d love a cheeky G&T or an Aperol Spritz or some Buds or even some expensive cocktails, which actually contain more ice than liqueur!

But mummy needs a drink.

We (I) had an awkward birth with B and unfortunately he ended up in the neonatal unit. He was born 48 hours after my waters broke but that’s another post!  After a few days of struggling to breast feed B and literally getting milked by half a dozen midwives, I was able to breast feed.  (B refused the neonatal nurses attempts to feed him with formula and we were officially told he was a ‘breast’ man. A bit like his daddy! 😉 I have breast fed B for 4 months (17 weeks if you want to nit pic).  I’m actually feeding him right now as I awkwardly type this on my phone over him.  After a few months, I wanted the choice of feeding B with formula but he wouldn’t take a bottle. Point blank refused.  We returned to what the nurses said, “He is definitely a breast man.” Cue the expensive search for different types of teats. There are way to many choices and actually it boggles the mind. Amazon prime and mum blogs etc. were a God send! We eventually settled on a Mimijumi bottle, which he accepted breast milk from. But finding the time in the week to express is hard enough or am I just lazy? So my loving and put upon husband gives me an extra hour in bed at the weekend to pump…my milk.  I seem to only get 4 oz. So my mother told me to start supplementing him with formula for one feed instead of 100% breast milk.  She said this would ease him in and would allow her to look after him (first grandchild from their only child) and allow us to go out for an evening.

Poor B wouldn’t take the formula. In fact he screamed the place down and we got a call and many unread texts from my parents demanding our return home.  We were only round the corner doing a big shop in Tesco at the time and signal was shit. I might add this was our ‘night out’… This was the first time I had left him for longer than an hour.  The first time was for 30 minutes and my breasts leaked and soaked my bra…I was even wearing pads! My maternal love for him clearly just burst through my pillowy breasts.

Right, to cut what was meant to be a short story that ended up a tediously long story short. My darling boy is allergic to formula milk. He has this hideous rash that practically crawls up his chin and around his mouth, which makes him look like a villain from a comic book. We tried Aptamil, Hipp and Cow and Gate is next followed by SMA. I don’t particularly like using my child as a testing palate. I just want him to be happy and healthy. Now, I love breast feeding B. It is one of the most powerful things you can do. I am grateful that I can do it.  I love the closeness I get and the bond we will always have.  My husband is incredibly jealous that our son gets to spend most of his day at his favourite place.  Which is why he is convinced that he isn’t really allergic or that I am secretly pleased he can stay with me for longer.  I’m pretty sure this is how unhealthy mother and son relationships are formed! Cue David Walliams, “I want bitte!”

But mummy really wants a drink and she is looking forward to some time with daddy when it eventually comes. My husband should be pleased in the long run – I’ll be an incredibly cheap date. Cheers to that!

*I originally posted this on Tumblr:  http://goodie-goodie.tumblr.com on June 1st 2016.

Drinking a glass of wine outside our room on our honeymoon. Booked with Kuoni and stayed at the Kuramathi Island Resort.  Bliss!    Teetotal

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